Ok the 12th hour is upon me. Lots of help and people asked how they can help?? A couple of people stepped forward to say ‘I’ll take care of that’. Thanks- lessens the stress. It is to late for most of the stuff, it is either done or not. People are starting to arrive, the energy level will rise and Lois isn’t here to have everything run smoothy., Oh well thanks friends for all the assistance ‘it is what it is’. 2pm tomorrow afternoon I’ve been told that it will be done beautifully, main reason is because all friends will be there. So will see if I can show the beauty that this lady had.
Next event will be the relay which happens the end of July- will open the blog for that event. Love to all, that is it for now- so come and see the central theme of ‘The Faces of Lois”.
I am back in Willits, had a great visit with kids as I headed north. Things kind of happening quickly. Returning to the North St. house was sad for many reasons-biggest was that Lois wasn’t with me to give direction to all that was needed. Alot of clean-up. Had been in the process of selling the Brooktrails house-had to do evictation, serious clean-up but best news is the house has a buyer and is sold-which is one less stress to deal with. One escrow closes another one opens, I bought a house in Crestline,CA. (google either crestline or lake gregory)-went in with daughter on a mountain cabin. That will be the goto place when Sun City temp. starts climbing. That does mean I’ll be leaving Willits-a home for 33 years (it was to be a temporary move). What that also means is lots of stuff to say good bye to. Some of the stuff will be moved to the ‘new’ cabin, stay tuned for future yard/house sale
update of Lois Gathering-June 17th-2pm Willits Methodist Church-
I would like a pre-gathering gathering this coming Wednesday May 24th either time is fine- 9am at the church ideas/thoughts for first part in the gathering. This is the spiritual religious area. Later that same day 3:30 exchange thoughts for social hall activities-this could be the Lois thoughts. Going for finger food (I think that means no knives,forks or spoons???)Anyway show up or give me input–email@example.com
The obituary has been written and given to the paper- Should be out next week-Thats it for now- Love to all of you, and double love if you are care-giving, or have any of the nasty diseases that prevent you from being you.
Time (even a month) does have a way to ease the emotional side of life.-almost a month since the body of my wife shut down to allow her soul and spirit to begin God’s journey. For me the last year including up to present has been a blurr with lots of pain so yes time is easing. This blog allows a connection that is difficult to achieve via e-mail, so please pass on any info of interest to others that knew Lois. So will kind of bring you up to present. So what does a person do with a body having lots of bad stuff inside the body (still beautiful on the outside). We had made previous arrangement with a company known as Science Care with an office in Phoenix. Basically once they were contacted everything was taken care of. I would receive notice when the cremated remains was available for pick-up.Every part of this cycle of living (death of the body)-was done very professional and with dignity. I can’t say enough about the positiveness of Hospice of the Valley and with Science Care. (side note) I will be receiving a letter informing me as to how Lois body was used. To get the death cert. I needed to prove I was the spouse and my word wasn’t acceptable-My daughter got on the cell phone and before I was out of the building my daughter was having our marriage cert expressed to me. Minor just hadn’t thought about it. The immediate cause of death-Pancreatic cancer, unknown stage, unknown cell type- another block aKS MANNER OF DEATH-nATURAL DEATH.(hit caps by mistake- going forward not back). There was nothing natural about her death-Starting the process as to whom to contact,retirement, banks, and all those places we should have written down when we both knew what they were. All about ‘getting them ducks aligned’. So currently The ashes of Lois are in a cardboard cylindrical container.-Awaiting the finished wood ‘urn’ a friend is making. Currently I am doing photo work of printing visual of the many faces of Lois, Located a button in picasa that tags faces, I typed Lois under one and lots of pics showed up. Will be doing an obituary, will post in Willits papers- again I know about the last 22 years- those with prior obit type info (where she got her masters degree, teaching info-etc. E-mail me. Several upcoming events that I’d like help/participation with. There will be a gathering open to all that Lois had an affect on/with, Probably like a celebration of life-except I can only account for the last 22 years- That event will take place in Willits at the Methodist church across from the Grange. The date is Saturday June 17th, from around 1:30 till the last reveler leaves (couple of hours).Please mark the date let me know if you are interested in the planning part??Basically ‘my thoughts’-Spiritual/religious, short Lois stories,all joyous-no saddness-into social hall where everyone has an opportunity to express ‘Lois thoughts’. Food will be provided??figure on soup and sandwiches maybe. Got a receipt for stuffed pepper soup. Great tasting. Want this to be a comfortable setting and most of all beautiful, Lois liked beauty. The next event is the following month and is the Relay for Life-Again I would like help with a booth-dealing with Pancreatic cancer- I think I’m teaming up with several people either way- be supportive of the walk and donations to the team. That is about it for now- I am preparing to return to Willits where I will be doing alot of catch-up. Sun City is fun, Willits is work—but the friendship more that makes up for the work. Hug your loved ones and be appreciative.
Lois ‘s body shut down at 11:30 last night. The last few days (since movement to hospice) have been peaceful..She was surrounded in love with her family. Not much more to write! Love to all that know Lois, she is a wonderful, beautiful classy lady. So as all stories must finish with.
tHE BLOG ISN’T FINISHED CAUSE I’D LIKE HELP WHEN IT IS RELAY TIME (Didn’t mean for all the capitals)
I would like to start the final chapter with a simple request that we think about but don’t always get it done, that includes, wills, durable power of attorney with both health and finances, actually get the ducks lined up and taken care of-life becomes less stressful-my request-turn to or get with your loved one, best friends- people that you love and give a hug, give a kiss, let them know—tomorrow may not come or come in a totally (though predictable ) direction-Lois felt-travel now while you can-After you let that person(s) know they really matter. Here is the current status of ‘the Lois Body’-My Lois has been gone for awhile-but Lois and the spirit and the Lois Soul will remain-The Hospice doc said anytime up to a couple of days. She has quit any intake and IV therapy at this stage is not part of the protocol. It’s the body that finally gets rest and relief from pain. Bringing you up to today-The pain wasn’t controlled by our method she required more frequent infusion- she was moved to a Hospice facility Saturday night- this was a temporary to get the pain under control-The lois body when relaxed (lots of drugs) is comfortable–which is all that matter now–no I will gladly take a miracle of a miracle- but reality also says she will not be coming home to either of the houses that she loved. . The hospice room is a comfortable room, with room for family and friends to be comfortable, with the Queen Lois in the center! We hope that she knows the love and that we are wanting to help her on the best part of the journey- the letting go of the sick tired worn-out body and being pain free. Lois was surrounded Dallas, Elizabeth,Connor,Whitney,Me, Melissa, Laura-having good conversation doing what Lois would want- be happy and comfortable. So dear friends the next posting with be what is at the end of most books.It has been a most wonderful, challenging life with Lois-(neat and not so neat) always a quality lady-don’t know if I ever let her know-to late now. Am going to try some post of pic. will see how that goes. About 3 weeks back my Lois that I loved and married was gone from my view- all that was left was ‘the Lois body’. For me I still have purpose-it is getting far away- side bar-there was a 2 week period when Lois was lucid that she leaned on and needed me- my purpose shot way up- It’s ok to lean on your mate. Thats it for me, I’m going to wander the house knowing that ‘the Lois Body” will never return-no not true-the cremated remains will be with me-side-side bar-have you made plans-it wasn’t cool when I was asking tLB where she wanted her ashes (we all know it is bone fragments) placed. Anyway I know of 3 possible or all p[laces-off a cruise ship, my Sept. hike, North street house. got way off- pray for peace and comfort for Lois and an easier transition on her new journey.
Our anniversary came and went (similar to last year). The two weeks that the body would give out has also come and gone. The pain is there, the dosage of the MS has increased. Lois sleeps/rest most of the day with very little verbally. She is very slow to recognize but still is able to walk and does eat pudding/applesauce (mixed works). There is no quality of life that I can see—except the body is still alive and occassionally there are moments of understanding. The answer- from my Christian understanding is to let Gods journey and Jesus promises start to unfold- how! can I help without adding to her fear. No answer! Is it better to have Lois alive in pain and discomfort or to have the body free of pain. I chose the later and have told Lois that I am ready to let her go whenever she is ready.She isn’t ready yet!!That is also good. That is painfull.
Thank you to all that have come and those that are still coming- remember this is the month of spring baseball (Lois was starting to enjoy the games). I spoke with one of Lois old time teaching friends (Paula Martin)-she will be here tomorrow (bought a one way ticket)-she has lots of experience in both last stages of life and with hospice. That may help Lois in her journey.
Last thought to share- on the medical DNR form there is a section dealing with body/organ donation. Lois agreed. we (me) chose to go with a company (google this one) called Science Care.Basically they are called once the body gives up to death. All needed parts are used and the left-overs are cremated and returned to me. Except for the grossness of explaining it is a win/win.
In closing want to share this blog with a couple that have been through alot in the pain department and yet they are supportive through prayer and cards and have their own demons (return of cancer) to deal with.- Thanks Tom and Shirley Schott- prayers back to you as Tom has an extremely long chemo/radiation schedule. Thats it, rain is coming to Sun City-maybe.
One of my first introductions to Lois was something about Lois The Scrabble Queen. This was the feature at the Willits theater billboard. Later I was introduced to Lois thru Barbara Mueller concerning speech issues with my son. Over twenty years back- my soul mate, friend,lover, partner and spouse. It has been a great adventure with a true lady that I always enjoyed being around—no it wasn’t always rosey- any of you that know Lois knows there is a different side- don’t cross her or disrespect either her kids (the special ed group) or any of her staff. Lois is an example as to what an administrator should be. If you have been following this blog, the disease is doing the winning- Mexico is still a hope but according to the Hospice people it is a poor idea- instead as the body continues to die, priority is to keep her comfortable. Two weeks at best was the opinion of the nurse- so what are the thoughts as I watch and wait for my wife to let her body die??The soul lives as will the memory. Family are making it this way for both Lois and myself- I know I will be a basket case when my partner is no longer with me- so folks I might not be able to express the thanks and comfort that we both have knowing that we have loving friends and family.
Pancreatic cancer- we know the outcome statistics, so Lois fought a hard and very painful battle for over a year-the pain was taking over, she is using morphine as needed. It eases the pain. What now??There will of course be a celebration of the life of the Queen- it will be attended by all of you that have been affected by the presences of the Queen. It will be in Willits, probably at the Methodist Church (our place is pretty torn up). Remember the gatherings- Lois loved to make people comfortable. It is time to say good bye to the Queen as her body flys to a better place. No not yet but some of us need alot of preparation time. Love to all and even more important- love to a most wonderful lady that is truly leaning on me for strength. Anniversary the 25th- 17 challenging beautiful years. Keep us in your prayers for both strength and comfort. So nice that blogs don’t show tears.
This was read to Lois before it is published.
Had the trial nerve block yesterday,no change in pain level (actually increased in lower abd area). Spoke with all knowledgeable docs and our local GP- this is one of the directions cancer takes- that of increasing pain-we have requested the services of hospice which includes the more important palliative care section. Basically this means that Lois is no longer connected with any hospital and this is Medi-care program. What I hope it means is a different or stronger direction for the pain control (they can administer iv through her port in the house). The nurse will visit tomorrow and give some recommendations as to realistically what is available. Plans next week, sister and cousin joining us for a visit to Sedona then a ride on The Grand Canyon Railroad. The following week we head to Mexico for some serious detox and different direction treatment.The situation here changes quickly- but pain isn’t.
Want to again thank all of you that have and are carrying prayers and energy this direction. The hardest part for Lois is not seeing and enjoying her boys and the grand kids- the getting to be more real realization That point where life turns to memory! Thank you again friends and family- God bless and wrap loving arms around all of you. I read this to Lois before I pushed publish.
Our new plans- Sunday Feb. 12th we will be landing in San Diego to be picked up and whisked across the border to the Immunity Therapy Center where Lois will be an out patient for a 3 week treatment. We figured it is better to go sooner rather than wait a couple of weeks for some planned events (people coming to visit). It would have been a great visit but again life has a way of setting the direction that we travel.There are lots of clinics that charge big $$ (actually this one does a pretty good job) so why this one??I have no answer, spoke with one of the doctors and he feels they have a treatment plan that will help (not cure but the testimonials had some positive comments). Requesting a little help- Rick Lipman (former Willits school teacher) went through some serious treatment after his chemo ended- Could someone let Bobby (the bus driver) know I’m trying to contact her about what his treatment was and where he went. Also google the place we are going to ‘Immunity Therapy Center’ and pass on if you have any knowledge about this or similar places.
Lois had a couple of ‘B’ days with very little pain without alot of oxy, that is in the past. It’s the pain boss, and it just doesn’t go away. This Monday Lois will try a trial pain block, if that is successful she will have a real block on Wed.It’s the pain and has been since the beginning. I might be blogging from Mexico so will have to practice up on my Spanish.Vaya con Dios! (I think I screwed that one up)- Love and hugs to all of you
This is the first time I ever sat down and watched the changing of the presidents. I was impressed with the coverage and all the history behind previous events. Lois is up most of the day and being focused on activities. Whatever the reason, tumor letting go,prayers being answered (have been repeatedly), Lois finally tired of the pain, or the great ralley, it doesn’t matter the reason- going to ride it as long as possible. My last post wasn’t meant to be a bummer downer- just said what the doc said. For both of us we again reach a closer closeness. Lois almost able to drink any green smoothie I create. That is it for now.